Perspective: Who is right?

Some years back, I watched a movie called Vantage point. It was a drama/mystery movie detailing a presidential assassination attempt from different witnesses. The viewers were given the witnesses back story and their views of the event. It was mind-blowing to see how different people watching the same event can view things differently. It felt like how witnesses to crimes usually give different accounts. How is it possible to view similar things but understand it differently? It’s called PERSPECTIVE.

Perspective is a particular way of viewing things that depend on one’s experience and personality. It’s also called point of view. That movie taught me a very important lesson in understanding other perspectives before jumping to conclusion. Most times, we are blinded by our own opinion that we refuse to listen to others. Sometimes, we believe our truth is the only acceptable one. Often times, we are adamant that we are right because we only see in black and white. We refuse to acknowledge the grey area even islam  recognizes.

I recently attended a Jummat prayer. The sermon was on how the Noble Prophet SAW always listened to others before judging. He was never quick to anger or condemnation. The noble Prophet SAW would ask individuals for their personal point of view and try to understand it. One of the examples the imam gave was when Aisha broke a plate due to jealousy in front of her father.

The Imam explained that the noble prophet wanted to entertain his guest while in Aisha’s house. Aisha didn’t have food so he sent messages to the houses of his other wives to ask if any had food to offer the guest. One of the Prophet’s wives sent food over. Aisha struck her hands and broke the dish into pieces. The Imam explained that the Prophet knew that Aisha reacted out of jealousy and He immediately pacified Aisha’s father (who was the guest). The Prophet did not belittle or ridicule her because he understood Aisha’s perspective. He probably cautioned her in private but didn’t embarrass her in front of the guest.

The full hadith is as follows; Narrated Anas: While the Prophet was in the house of one of his wives, Aisha, one of the mothers of the believers sent a meal in a dish. The wife at whose house the Prophet was, struck the hand of the servant, causing the dish to fall and break. The Prophet gathered the broken pieces of the dish and then started collecting on them the food which had been in the dish and said, “Your mother (my wife) felt jealous.” Then he detained the servant till a (sound) dish was brought from the wife at whose house he was. He gave the sound dish to the wife whose dish had been broken and kept the broken one at the house where it had been broken [Sahih Bukhari: Volume 7, Book 62, Number 152].

There are so many examples around us of how most people aren’t given the opportunity to state their point of view or opinion. In Nigeria, when one hears the word ‘Ole’, everyone is on the lookout and ready to beat the ‘criminal’ to stupor. Some passerby or area boys would be looking for a tire to even burn the individual alive. This is called jungle justice. Most times, the individual is innocent of the allegation either by being at the wrong place at the wrong time or past scores or even envy. He/she is not given the opportunity to defend himself or herself from a false allegation. Reputation, businesses and sometimes lives are lost in the process.

Another example is when dealing with Non-Muslims. There is an assumption that things are done against ‘us’, Muslims because people of other faith hates us. We allow our fear and prejudice control our thought process and behavior. We don’t give excuses and assume these individuals might be driven by fear of the unknown or act out of ignorance or other valid reasons. This fear mongering and paranoia makes us misbehave and do things that are against Islamic values. If we had brought them closer and engaged them in conversations, maybe all fears would have dissipated.

In other scenarios, it is important to respect our difference even though the opinions might not be acceptable to us. I would like to give a personal example. I belonged to a Muslimah Facebook group where members share life experiences and enlighten everyone with the primary goal of striving for Jannah. In the group, sisters anonymously present their issues and seek diverse opinions based on experiences and Islamic doctrine. It was a very good group for spiritual enrichment and personal growth.

I observed that anytime a particular sister presents her opinion, specific sister are quick to attack and berate her. Most sisters like her comments because the comments are direct, practical and most times pro women. Others believe she is leading women astray and a man hater. The antagonist would attack her on every post that it became so obvious that she was being stalked. Some accused her of wanting to breakup other’s home. Others accused her of wanting to lead people to hell. Many accusations were levied against her because she was more liberal than the traditional norm.

Who is to say her opinions are wrong? What exactly is the right opinion? Your truth doesn’t invalidates others truth. The noble Prophet Muhammad SAW showed people that disagreed with him utmost respect. He was reported to have welcomed non-Muslim, like the group from Yemen led by a Christian bishop into his mosque. They had come to debate with the Prophet about Christianity. He offered the food and a place to say their prayers. He didn”t agree with their perspective but he respected it. Regardless of how much we disagree with anyone’s point of view, it must be done with respect and kindness. The Quran says; “and speak to them words of appropriate kindness.” (An-Nisaa’ 4:8) and “Speak good words to all people.” (Al-Baqara 2:83)

Though one should always listen to other’s perspective, it is equally important to always approach with kindness so one can be given the opportunity to speak one’s truth. Islam, a religion of peace encourages everyone to present their truth in the kindest way possible. We don’t always have to agree but it is essential to listen and respectfully disagree.