Ultimate Love: My First Naija Reality Show

A few weeks back, I was on Twitter wondering what was trending in Nigerian Twitterverse. Ultimate Love was trending. After much digging, I realized it was down my alley. I am a super fan of reality shows, especially ones about relationships because I love “love”. I have been an avid follower of America’s Married at First Sight (MAFS) from season 1 to 10, where experts match singles. These singles meet and get married at the altar. Then, they are given 8 weeks to determine if they would continue their marriage or get a divorce. The show seems crazy but it worked for a few individuals. 

The Ultimate Love show involves single males and females living together in an isolated location with the hope of finding lasting relationships. The participants are called love guests (LG) while the residence is called love pad (LP); Aunty is the host. The show was created by African Magic DSTV alongside GOTV. During this 7 week experience, participants attend a series of relationship building master classes, games, tasks, couple’s session and nominations. The idea is for the singles to choose a potential spouse to grow in love with. In the first three weeks, participants were introduced and couple swapping was permitted. In latter weeks, they bonded and built great relationships with prospective spouses. 

The love guests nominate a few couples for potential checkout and viewers vote weekly to keep their favorites in the house. Every week, at least 1 couple with the lowest votes, checks out of the love pad with the hope of continuing the love building in the real world. Ultimate prize is finding LOVE. The success of this show lies in delivering long lasting successful marriages. The last couple standing will be awarded a lavish traditional wedding ceremony worth 10 million naira, a house and a cash prize of 5 million naira. The house would only be given to the winning couple if they remain married for at least a year.

Ultimate Love’s playbook mirrors love island and a bit of bachelor in paradise without the recycling of bachelor participants. Reality shows tend to attract the fame thirsty individuals who are always looking for a platform to launch their ‘celebrity’ lifestyle. I was hoping and praying that this being the first season would have at least fifty percent of the participants actually looking for love.

It’s not bad using a platform to promote one’s self but one has to put a little effort in the primary reason for being there. This is my first time watching Nigerian reality show and observing it on social media. I would like to discuss my observations, they are as follows;

1. The overall show: I love the premise of the show. It gives singles an avenue to mingle and learn to love one another with minimal distractions. There are no family, friends, job and technology to distract from focusing on the purpose of the show, which is loving another individual. The exclusivity to that one person heightens the emotional connection between prospective spouses. A week in that house seems like a month in the real world. In the real world, most couples don’t spend that much time together. It’s understandable how feelings gets deep within a short period. The Ultimate love show was Rated R18 with a no sex rule. I assume the rules were enforced because of the judgmental society we live in and also the need to ensure participants judgment are not beclouded by sex. There were times the producer denied us steamy kisses but I understand that the society isn’t ready for those contents.

   

   Another highlight was the X-Party. Every Friday, at least a crush or Ex gets invited to the party to test the strength of the union. It provides a reminder to the Love guests that relevant issues need to be addressed before exiting the house. Most couples get stronger afterwards. Master classes were also a major highlight where experts were invited to educate the love guests and viewers on various aspects of marriages and how marriages can excel. The experts discussed love languages, keeping the fire, resolving conflicts, myths about the superior gender and lets talk sex. The sessions were informative and full of wisdom. These sessions should be mandatory before any marriage.

   

2. Screen Time Allocation: Reality TV is a business venture. The organizers aim to create a show that provides an opportunity for marriage amongst singles while also creating a legitimate long lasting money making venture. The popularity of the Ultimate Love show depends on the size of the audience the show attracts at various times. Size of the audience is dependent on the authenticity and relatability of the content. Ultimate Love director/producers did a very great job with the screen time allocation. There was a great balance between the need to provide equal screen time for the LG and great content. Provision was also made to provide adult content during the early morning to satisfy the rated R viewers.

   The need to provide authentic content to best fit the theme of the show was a business decision and not conspiracy of any kind.

3. Casting: The cast included very diverse individuals from various parts of Nigeria. Participants varied in age, body size, ethnic group and even occupation.

   Most reality tv shows in the US rarely cast plus size individuals with the exception of weight loss shows. It is believed that slimmer ladies are better aesthetically and more marketable than plus size ladies. I was pleasantly surprised that the ultimate love show cast 2 big and fabulous ladies: Ebi and Rosemary. That was a fabulous job by the casting director. The cast also included a single mother of 2, which was a huge shock considering the stereotype against single mothers in Nigeria. Single mothers are always tagged as promiscuous without considering their backstory.

   

   I was also impressed by the wide ages of participants.Their ages range between 24 to 35yrs. Iyke, the youngest male participant showed emotional maturity. His conflict resolution skill was topnotch. In Nigeria, single women over a certain age are seen as ‘on the shelf and un-marriageable’. There were three ladies over 34years. I am happy these ladies were confident enough to apply for this show and I was also impressed that this platform was open to diverse representation.

4. Grooming of LG: The realness of this show was further emphasized as the budget for grooming was strained due to the number of participants and minimal sponsors. While looking sharp would have been perfect for airing, the untidiness made it relatable. It’s unrealistic to expect weekly hairstyles considering the intent of the show.i.e. finding life long partners. We saw LGs in their natural and made up state. I appreciate the relatability and realness.

   

5. Voting of nominated LG: From the 2nd week, LG nominated other LG based on strategy and/or prior week vendetta with the hope that fans would vote via SMS and online. An allowable number was pegged to ensure equal opportunity. The only time I had ever voted in a reality show was during American Idol. On American Idol, each contestant was given a certain number for calling and/or texting with the maximum number capped for equal opportunity. It was a cultural shock for me to discover how far Nigerians were willing to go for their favorite on Ultimate Love reality show. People were buying hundreds of SIM cards and recharge cards. Some were reaching out to friends and family in multitude just to keep their favorite in the house. Since this was the first season of the show, it’s very risky spending so much money to keep a participant in the house when there is minimal to no consolidation price for non-winners. The money could have been better utilized as gifts to the individual favorites. I guess it might be a Nigerian reality show thing.

   

6.  Winning Couple: Roksie (Rosie and Kachi) emerged as the deserving winner of the show. Roksie made us feel different emotions during the 7weeks. I laughed during their lovey-dovey. Tears dropped from my eyes when secrets were revealed. I got apprehensive during their numerous quarrels. Night vigil was routine in order to keep up with the nightly romance. I felt the authenticity of their love deep within my core. Their relationship might have started rocky but Rosie and Kachi were able to forgive, communicate and open themselves to the potential for something deeper. Their love was so pure and organic that it made one re-evaluate one’s relationship. Roksie were so relatable that most adults (married folks and grandparents) were rooting for them.Roksie DESERVED the Ultimate love crown and the consolation prizes.
7. Season 1 Participants: There are lots of potential in some of the relationships in the just concluded ultimate love. This COVID-19 lockdown directive gave the finalist more opportunity to reflect and work on their relationship with minimal influence. It is important for the LGs to avoid staying in a loveless union to please fans. Marriage is serious business and shouldn’t be managed especially in the honeymoon stage. The chance of an individual changing for good from the individual in the love pad is slim. It’s ok to always give one’s best but it’s acceptable to also walk away if the relationship isn’t working. However, It’s also acceptable, if the couples mutually decide to stay with each other for a period of time for clout. What’s not acceptable is marrying for clout. A lifetime is a long time to be miserable.

   

8. Prospective participants: I hope for season 2, participants comes with an open mind and heart. Loving one’s self is the first step to any healthy relationship. It is very important to understand that love is a decision and not just the fuzzy warm feeling in romantic books. If the purpose of coming to the show is for fame, ensure your paired partner is on the same page. It is unfair to waste people’s time and emotions. 
9. Future improvements: This season was great but improvements needs to be made to increase relevance and maximize potential matches. There is a need for couple bonding exercises and weekly prizes. Gifting the couples one-one private dates, massage and movie time would have been huge.

   

   Short term privacy would have helped lots of couples grow. The Saturday’s presentation should be relevant to the theme of the show. The Igbo traditional wedding was a great example. Showcasing Yoruba and Hausa traditional weddings would have been amazing.

10. Fans Toxicity: In my several years of following reality TV on social media, I have never met a more toxic group of people. These individuals find it difficult to have intelligent discussions about issues shown. They resort to age, fat, and even slut shaming the participants and anyone having opposing views just to make themselves feel better. Awful utterances that can never be said in person are repeated because they are keyboard warriors. Some are living their fantasy behind the keyboard forgetting that what goes around, comes around. There is also a sense of entitlement that some of these fans feel that is mind blowing. One isn’t allowed to discuss other participants because one has a favorite. I hope we do better for season 2 because the fan craze makes this show less enjoyable. How can people watching a love show be filled with so much hatred? It’s possible to root for everyone to find their significant other and still support a favorite. 

I would like to advise the couples to ensure they surround themselves with a great team. Be grateful to the fans, especially the team that organized voting but don’t let them control you. Don’t let them guilt trip you into anything. Be grateful to people but maintain the boundary. The industry is full of users and entitled individuals, so be wise. Remember why you apply to the show, keep your focus on the ‘prize’ you won. 

The Ultimate love show was very entertaining and relatable. I am happy the love guest opened their lives and hearts to us so we can learn and do better in our respective relationships. Congratulations to Rosemary and Onyekachi on their engagement. I am excited to know what the future holds for them. I can’t wait for season 2. 

Photo and Video Credit: Official Ultimate Love Website and Mercy Osaro